Wednesday, March 16, 2011

To run or not to run ....

Ok, so I have been "running" and I use that term lightly for about a month now and I can run for about 2 miles straight before I am ready to pass out and only at a 5.0 mph pace ... I am trying to increase both my time and speed and I will do little intervals of 6.0 in there but still only make it 2 miles.

Anyways I say all this to say that I really want to attempt running a 5K - It would be a HUGE accomplishment for me and I think it would also give me some running confidence - if that makes any sense. It is also another stepping stone on my mission to getting healthy. 

I have started to really enjoy running and really would like to improve my distance and speed. It is a work in progress ... I keep saying when I get to where I want to be speed/time wise I will sign up for a 5K because heaven forbid I run and get a bad time ... I wonder why I let this bother me. I have seen people a lot bigger than I am take on this race and do great and I am definitely not running to win the race, I am running to prove to myself that I can be a runner, that I can run to be healthy and it is NOT out of my reach...

Everytime I see this number and letter, I get nervous.....
Why do I let it get to me so badly??? ... Its time to put on my big girl panties and just do it!!

I think I am just going to do it, take the plunge and not worry if I don't get the best time - honestly I think I will do fine and its mainly in my head and actually making a running commitment is what is scaring me. Because then I can't slack on the running if I want to because I have a commitment - isn't that sad???  I am afraid to do this because I am afraid I am going to fail. I can not live my life like this, I have to try ... Thank you PriorFatGuy for your inspiration! You didn't think you were ready for it but you still did it and you did awesome - you crossed that finish line!!

Today I was going through some old pictures and I found this one of me at my college graduation.. I was about 40 lbs lighter than and even then I thought I was too big and was taking appetite supressants trying to lose a few lbs... seems crazy to me now because I would LOVE to be this weight, this is my goal weight!  Why are we never happy with what we have?? I need to be happy in this body, the one I am in right now before I can better myself - because weight is just a number, I am still me even with an extra 40 lbs and I am pretty freakin' awesome. =)  .. (I am on the left)

1 comment:

  1. You can totally do a 5K. Don't worry about the time, just worry about finishing. Your next one you can rock the clock!