Then it hit me ...
I am not defined by the number on the scale. I am still me no matter what my weight is. I am still important even if I am not a size 2. After talking to this other lady I realized that even people who are thin/fit/not fat still have body issues and still are not happy with themselves. I used to have the mindset that if I just lost a certain amount of weight it would change everything. I would instantly have crazy self confidence and everyone would like me better if I was nicer to look at. How ridiculous is that?!?! ... I have to love who I am now because I am still worth it. Dropping a few pounds is not going to change my worth. I have to live my life now at whatever size I am or I could miss out on a lot.
Saturday night I went out and I was so happy. I didn't care what other people were thinking about me, all I cared about was having a good time. I laughed, I talked to strangers I even got out on the dance floor and shook my groove thang =) ... and I had the time of my life. Before I would have sat at a table watching everyone else have the time of their life. I haven't lost a significant amount of weight yet or made a huge transformation but I have had an awakening - I have decided to live, no matter what my weight is.
So instead of trying to look like someone on a tv show, or a friend that I wish I was "as skinny as", I have chosen to love the body I am in and love me!
So stop living you're life waiting for weight loss to change who you are. You are awesome just the way you are and anyone who thinks differently isn't worth your time anyways! Love yourself today and everything elsw will fall into place!