I'm stuck - stuck in a rut ... and it feels like I am drowning ... I know what I need to do but I feel like I start to do better and then something pulls me back under. It's like I can't get out of the water and I am getting weaker. I have been stuck at 173.5 for over a month now and it's really starting to piss me off. I can't even say I am at a plateau because I see a plateau as something that happens when you are still trying but not seeing results. I am flat out not even trying. I am eating what I want or whatever is around is more like it. I am not exercising. I am being super lazy. I feel like a friggin slug, all I want to do is sleep. I'm not sure where this tiredness and laziness is coming from but I really wish it would go away. I keep making excuses to not exercise and it's just plain dumb!
Seriously I could have lost another 10 lbs by now if I would give this some effort - but instead I have eaten the nasty azz pizza my husband orders, I have taken the kids for icecream and eaten way too much, I haven't counted a single friggin calorie in weeks, I haven't touched the treadmill in at least 2 weeks..... all of this disgusts me - I CAN NOT GO BACK!! It seriously is a miracle that I have not gained a ton of weight back, thank God for that!
I have to get back into thinking healthy - I can't keep doing this. You know why I feel so tired, why I feel so friggin lazy - it's because I have put nothing but junk into my mouth, I haven't gotten off my ass in days ... I need to move! I need to sweat! I need to feel alive!
I feel like all my posts lately are so negative and the "need to get on the wagon" posts ... I do NOT want my blog to turn into the girl who is always talking about getting back on track. I want to be the blog that inspires people, that shows people YES you CAN live a healthy life and be a working mom with limited free time. It is POSSIBLE to be healthy, to lose weight, to be a runner .... I can do all these things if I want to ...
Tonight my son has soccer practice - after that I don't care if aliens invade the planet my butt will be on that treadmill - I HAVE to get back on the mother friggin track now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!