Thursday, June 23, 2011

Feels Like I'm Drowning ...

I'm stuck - stuck in a rut ... and it feels like I am drowning ... I know what I need to do but I feel like I start to do better and then something pulls me back under. It's like I can't get out of the water and I am getting weaker. I have been stuck at 173.5 for over a month now and it's really starting to piss me off. I can't even say I am at a plateau because I see a plateau as something that happens when you are still trying but not seeing results. I am flat out not even trying. I am eating what I want or whatever is around is more like it. I am not exercising. I am being super lazy. I feel like a friggin slug, all I want to do is sleep. I'm not sure where this tiredness and laziness is coming from but I really wish it would go away. I keep making excuses to not exercise and it's just plain dumb!

Seriously I could have lost another 10 lbs by now if I would give this some effort - but instead I have eaten the nasty azz pizza my husband orders, I have taken the kids for icecream and eaten way too much, I haven't counted a single friggin calorie in weeks, I haven't touched the treadmill in at least 2 weeks..... all of this disgusts me - I CAN NOT GO BACK!! It seriously is a miracle that I have not gained a ton of weight back, thank God for that!

I have to get back into thinking healthy - I can't keep doing this. You know why I feel so tired, why I feel so friggin lazy - it's because I have put nothing but junk into my mouth, I haven't gotten off my ass in days ... I need to move! I need to sweat! I need to feel alive!

I feel like all my posts lately are so negative and the "need to get on the wagon" posts ... I do NOT want my blog to turn into the girl who is always talking about getting back on track. I want to be the blog that inspires people, that shows people YES you CAN live a healthy life and be a working mom with limited free time. It is POSSIBLE to be healthy, to lose weight, to be a runner .... I can do all these things if I want to ...

Tonight my son has soccer practice - after that I don't care if aliens invade the planet my butt will be on that treadmill - I HAVE to get back on the mother friggin track now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

  1. The exciting part if that you will probably drop like crazy once you get back into your healthy routine. Report back tomorrow to let us know how the treadmil went or to tell us abuot the aliens. ;)

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  2. Sam - are you doing the Couch to 5K program??

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