Tuesday, January 10, 2012

GRRRRR .. I Eff'd Up, Big Time!

So I guess I didn't eat enough today because by the time work was over and I was on my way home, I was crazy hungry - like getting ready to start chewing on my hand, because I need something to eat RIGHT NOW - hungry! ... I text'd the husband and asked him to start dinner - because he stayed home from work today. He did that but it still wasn't going to be ready for 20 minutes by the time we got home ... So there I stood in the kitchen literally shaking because I was so hungry, I guess my blood sugar was probably low - all I know was I needed food and I needed it fast ... so in my head I was thinking, I will have one spoonful of peanut butter and that should do the trick - and that might have been OK if I would have stopped there - nope, I kept going back and getting more - I would even put the spoon in the dishwasher after eat bite. Then when I came to my senses and put the PB down I opened the fridge to get a drink and saw some mac n cheese from yesterday - took some bites of that - THEN I saw hotdogs (seriously a hot dog???) and I grabbed one and shoved it in my mouth ... unfreakin' believable! I seriously think I probably ate about a 1/2 cup -  1 cup of peanut butter ... by the time dinner was done I felt like I was about to hurl but I still ate dinner because The Husband made it and I didn't want to upset him - so then after all this I pretty much had to roll myself to the couch. I was so mad at myself. Why did I do it? Why did I binge like that? Dinner was cooking, if I would have just left the kitchen and did something else it would have been done and I could of ate and been fine ... I really think I might have to get the peanut butter out of my house, it's just something I don't have control over, I crave it and I can NEVER eat just a tablespoon ....
This is how I pretty much felt.... womp womp


Anyways, at this point I just wanted to call it a BAD DAY and go to bed ... I curled up on the couch and I watched Justin Bieber's Never Say Never (don't judge me, I was at an all time low) - but seriously this kid is pretty cool - he does some cool stuff, I think the girls that cry and faint are completely retarded but he is a pretty neat guy, I hope he continues to do great things. So after that I could have went to bed but instead I went downstairs got on playlist.com and added all the Justin Bieber songs I could find and I rocked out while I ran my overfull ass on the treadmill - oh yeah baby, me and Justin broke a sweat! .... ha ha ha I was done after doing my C25K week 3 but then my boy Eminem came on and I was like Oh Hell Yeah Buddy! and I went for another 15 mins... he just does something to me .... ha ha ha ha ha... sorry now I'm in a slap happy mood. I know I screwed up, royally, but what are ya gonna do? You're going to get up and start all over tomorrow, it's one day, one screw up, it's not the end of the world!!

Have a good night! Go listen to some Justin Bieber, he will make you smile =) You smile, I smile ;)

2 comments:

  1. SO SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU FOR REBOUNDING.


    MizFit

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  2. I like what Carla said! What's more important is the rebound than the.....lack of planning for your work snacks? The fact that you ran is huge! Good job Sam!

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